[ International Cat Show ]

Last week I went to the Cat Show held at Sabah Trade Centre near Likas Square. me and Riqi had to pay an admission of RM5 just to get an entrance stamp from EC.

So here's a few of the Meows that we managed to capture during our tour there.

Me and riqi famishly looking at the caged feline.

An this is the judging ring for those who brought their cats. this is the place where your cat being judged and tagged to see how high your cat's breed is. and she's Diana Rothermel. The cat Lady from Cat Fanciers' Association.

kesian those cats kena kurung. still cute. might consider Jobie to enter the ring next year. hahaha... well Overall I kind off hate the way the owner of each cats being so rude to the spectators. There's this wrinkled lady who shoved a girl away for trespassing a 2cm (which I think she made that territory her self) line from which the cats are being held hostage. I mean have some courtesy la. like no one's gonna steal her cat jgk. Macam la cantik kucing dia.

[ That's all. we love our cats. keep smirking y'all! ]

[ Sadness around the corner ]

Why do I always fall for someone who doesn’t love me as much as I love them? And it turned out that they’re more in love and passionate with their scandal. Am I too strong or is it just me that had been expecting my partners to be as obsessed as me?

Or was it insecurities? Can’t I have insecurities in my relationships? I mean I can be a freak sometimes but I need a comfort message not silence. If I let my partners free to move… what would happen? They feel as if there’s no control and free to mingle.

And then when “stuff” happened... Who’s to blame? It’ll always goes back to me. I was too insecure they said. But was it my fault? It’s not my lips on their scandals. Right? It’s not me who said

"I’m still single” though the fact that their already had a partner.

A bit of control is a necessity. i'm not saying to be a freak control. Of course we need a fun and casual relation somehow… but why do we keep secrets? (owh god I love secrets.. it's like orgasm) Why do I need to be almost honest all the time? Why do they keep their past aside? I seriously don’t know why are they afraid.

Will I not be able to except the truth? I can. It’s just they never try to talk to me. They tend to assume that I’m over-sensitive. Yes that’s true. I am. Can’t they talk to me? It’s a simple conversation. Talking. Face to face. Why is it so hard to talk? Talking bah… used those vocal chord, mouth, tongue, and lips to talk. They’re not just for kissing and sucking (mind me I'm horny at this paragraph).

Simple stuff. But they thought I’m making a big deal out of it. I was just trying to talk. Reality and crappy stuff. And when I started to talk they thought I was over sensitive and they started to get emotional and angry. Talk. It’s simple. Talking and explaining. It’s not hard. I may be redundant. But it’s always healthy to remind someone although it’s annoying. Help me. My memory is not healthy so as you. Then you’ll be helped. Everyone is satisfied in the end.

I’m afraid to talk. I became so much more sensitive and extroverted over stuff that doesn’t need to be bothered. I tend to think too much over things. Was it my fault (again)? Yes. I let it be. But there’s no support. People keep thinking I was their pain in the ass. Then why keep it like that? I thought they like those “pain” in the ass. Why complain but didn’t composed to it. Why not resolve to it and face me? Was it hard? NO. I don’t kick or punch people. That’s not my nature.

People should explain why and what things that they don’t like before I got smeared with saliva. If once or twice was ok. But if it’s continuous like the blocks of Sinsuran’s shop lots might cause trouble. This kind of lag made me emotional and crappy.

When my partners ended their relationships with me. I’ve felt as if I’m unattractive. Those other scandals win them over. I seriously believe people who have lower attractiveness have a great deal of chance to be dumped. Don’t believe me? BELIEVE IT. I’ve seen unfortunate-looking people to get dumped by their (so-called super-cute) partners.

"A” was dumped because “N” thought “A” was childish. Totally a big capital BS I state here. I’ve seen “A” by my own contact-lenses eye balls. I thought MJ is much cuter than him. I don’t assume. I knew “N” very well.

I felt like I’m used for someone’s transition to heal. I do. People like me somehow adapt themselves into bitches and whores. That’s what made them feel good. It is a dumb choice but what can that person do? They need remedies too. Their ex's are happy with their other half's. don't we (who are broken) deserves to be happy?

But somehow I realize that things like this had to happen because it made the world go round (not literally). without it I won’t be able to meet people in those circles. And without their loss I won’t be able to exchange places. Right? The perfect phrase would be,

"All things always happen for a reason"

And when people said to me...

"It’s not you. It’s me”

I think that’s not true. It’ll always be about me and you (Cassie singing at the background). There would always be a problem in each partner whether they like it or not. And how to know what are those?

So Simple….. Just talk. it's not easy but it's simple.

Ignorance is bliss. True. It’s vengeance in tranquility as I put it.

[ I'm sorry if i never been a good partner or a good communicator. But thats my flaws. they can't except my flaws and all. but maybe somebody else will. ]

[ Anticipation ]

Rest in peace my heart
Impaired by the darkest hours.
Cleanse this hatred off, dear love
All I want is with me when you’re near.
Ravage my poignant days, dear bliss
Drought ruled the year I live in
Of life that weren’t meant for me.
Urge my insanity to dreams, dear hope
Never should I suffer again
Thus someone had save me
Omit away, dear loneliness.

[Aleaf]

[ Just as before ]

Do you ever regret?
What?
Of leaving me.
No.
Then... Why am I still here?
Because you’re leaving me.
Can’t I?
You may.
Then... Why am I still here?
You wanted to.
Can’t I?
Yes.
Then... Why are we still here?
Because there’s no way out.
It burns. It hurts. Can you hug me?
Yes. Just as before.

... the house burned down

-end-

[ Light Graffiti episode 2 ]

On my way back home.. I tried another project on light graffiti. while in the car this is some of the images I succededly took with some minor change of settings of my camera.. then voila!

Those are the other car's light

it was a bit shaky while this was taken but turned out to be nice

hehehe...

I'm moving at the speed of light!!! hehehe

boring bah so gatal-gatal jak nih

[ Sucka For Love ]

I'm addicted to kissing and hugging

touching and rubbing

I'm a sucka for love...

If you're addicted to kissing and hugging touching and rubbing

you're a sucka for love

[ Negativity ]

We live in a world with so many things to be dissatisfied; food, cloths, appearance, life, sex, etc….. there might be people gossiping about a girl’s dress (with that everybody-is-looking-at-me look) with a dreadful match in Hell Christian Lacroix’s black satin heels or having this thought of snatching someone’s partner because you‘re way gorgeous than that person he’s with.

Being pessimistic in a right place is tolerable. Some people discontented with everything. (Like the world's about to end) They were against everything that came pass their way. It’s like nothing pleases them. Diva like, flipping their hair, blotchy make-up, big haired people… not that I think all of them are drag queens. It’s just a depiction of what I’ve described girls who’re bitchy and fabulous. Guys have their own ego. They can be the DQ, normal or the pretenders.

When I’m elsewhere around the city with friends or my exs, we commented on things that does not complement with our sights in certain time. I realized I overload some of the conversation on bad remarks and somehow made some others feel uncomfortable. And I manage to tone down a bit. I was being optimistic with things going around but do I ever exclude myself from being negative? Nope. I don’t know why… seems fun to carry out such activity. But sooner or later I’ll taste my own medicine.

Being negative is fun… seriously everybody does that. But we need to be positive somehow. It’s an equilibrium in self-attitude. I might be totally wrong about this.. but people had their own perception on stuffs…

Cheers. Keep smirking. owh gosh.. so bored...

[ The 3 F’s ]

Wondering what're those 3 F's stand for? Friends. Foes, and For-display-only.

Friends… who doesn’t have one? Or thousands more? Friend is a person who entertains you for another such sentiments of esteem, respect and affection. They’re the one who treats you like… you’re there. They who you knew fondly for so long and they who you casually meet and greet. They’re the company you want when you’re broken (or broke) or when you just need someone to brag with.

Foes…. perceptibly they’re the enemy. Who back-stabbed you when you’re not looking, who pushes you off the 4^th Floor of the 1 Borneo Mall when they said “I have something to show you”. They’re the people whom we love to hate. You can either make them closer to you or you give them the silent treatment

For-display-only - The person you happened to go out with or just started to know each other would actually treat you as FDO. They didn’t mean it but their action made it much clearer. They’re the one who asked you to go for a date, but unwillingly for other people to see u guys went out. Or they just want to accumulate the number if their peeps. In a selfish sense, they just want to have their reputation protected without any consent of other people. So it's either they pleases their own self. PLT (People Like This) doesn’t need us. They only need their own mirror. A cheap one.

Trust yourself before you lend your trust on others.

[ And so it is ... ]

Search in my mind,
trying to figure it out
And thought
I was happy but I'm having some doubts
Think I found the answer and I know I must confess
I'm still in love with my ex

And I wasn't ready when I said that I loved you
And in my heart, I know that I gotta tell you
I shouldn't have gone from a situation to the next
I'm still in love with my ex

[taken from "Kelly Rowland - I'm still in love with my ex"]

[ I love Ellen DeGeneres ]

One of Ellen's episode was that she made a segment called

"What are those kids talking about?” (then there's a cue song at the back)

and she responded to a few Q from her fan mails about words that the ghetto or those rapper peeps used; Grill, chingy, Drop it like it’s hot, tail feather.... etc etc

Then again she always made more add ons to her segment. One of it is interpreting abbreviations being used in IMs or messaging term by young peeps and translating it to what much older peeps might intrepret on it.:

LOL (Laugh Out Loud) - Low On Lip-tore
BFF (Best Friend Forever) - Back From Florida
IC (I See) - I Can’t.
OMG (Oh My Gosh) - Ouch My Gallbladder
TTTT (To Tell The Truth) – I’m sitting over the keyboard aimlessly pressing the word “T” continuously

Hahahahaha.. I was ROTFALOL (Rolling On The Floor And Laughing Out Loud... Riqi told me this) after that segment.

I can't believe that was her. she's gorgeous here.

I love Ellen. She’s so funny. full of colours. and she's fun to watch!

[ Blog and Blogging ]

I personally believe blogging should be something you do to express your opinion or simply talks about something or even express everything into art (photography, video, poems, etc).

There’re people who wrote in a discreet manner as to hide themselves. That’s fine. They have all rights to do that (like the phrase “mcm suka hati sia lah mau buat apa”) . Some bloggers fake their writings. Because that’s how they portray themselve. Right? Being discreet and fake is two different things. Being discreet is ok. There’s reason to be discreet for certain peeps. Being fake is a capital BS.

I had a few bloggers who commented in my message box who asked me to link them in my blog. Do they even visit my site again? Or just as an add ons as to extend their blogger’s list. And people would look at their looong list thinking,

“owh this guy is cool and read so many blogs”….

Are they? I’m not saying all of them but there’s a bunch.

I put links in my blogs of other bloggers because I read their postings. I devote myself to read their posts. I don’t simply put them in just to accesorize. and we need simple and attractive blog as not to degrade our vision. Make people focus more on your writing and not the widgets and stuff. 1 or 2 is ok but when there's the WHOLE TOWN in there that's tooooo messy. If you're good with HTML and stuff make good edits.

I started blogging in Xanga.com in 2006 after my first ex (LTR) introduced it to me. Then I moved to Blogspot.com last year. Actively writing poems and everything ever since. I’ve been ALMOST honest in my writings and I don’t see any problem except to improve myself. Believe me there’re some mentality who can’t except and finding it hard to understand because there are writings that need a deep and high IQ to be understandable. I can’t say it’s my writings but some other genius writer.

Some of my friend (who happens to read my blog) asked,

“why do I write in such language?”

Because I want to improve. Not to show off (maybe a little). I mixed my sentences with bahasa though (with sabahan slang) . And I still refer to a dict. Yet still I made a few grammar and spelling errors. But I don’t mind. I learned. We’re only human. None are perfect. Even the news caster made mistakes. Like the other day this Indian girl on TV3 during a live midnight news (yah I watch news on TV3 also) simply pronounce,

“Capacity” as “Ka-pe-city”

and other mis-pronounciation (she was so addressing this british accent that she made so many annoying mistakes). Please do encourage yourself to write in languages. I mean do you want to embarrased yourself in later usage?

Go write! Enjoy. Write anything. Take pictures. Express yourself. Keep "B" to da "LOG"

I don’t mean to annoy or made any controversial statements. But... hey that’s ALMOST the purpose of blogging right? Writing in as much as you want. So I thank to who at least spent some time to be a reader. I’m not proud with what I’ve wrote but I’m glad somehow I let it all out in my writings.

This post is a continuance and merely an agreement to Ricky’s post (http://hushmonkey.blogspot.com/2008/08/why-do-you-want-to-blog.html).

[ Having The Same Wavelength ]

The more time you spent with that person, you tend to think likely the same in some term and vice versa. even when giving an opinion there's always be a resemblance. There's a nexusity between those two person that made them spoke simultaneously. or probably that person much more pliable to the other. ha ha ha... la la la. and that's just my theory. How about feelings? Do they feel the same thing? Depends.

The other day, me and "Z" went for a stroll having our eyes fixed with "views" (smirk). a buff, fortunate looking guy, wearing a green SODA shirt and a nice fitted jean passed our table at Starbucks.

Z: "Sadap"

Me: "Sadap"

We both spoke at the same time.

Me: Jinx! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.

Z: Jinx! 1,2,3,4... ish....

Actually we skip the "jinx" part but just to make it more complete. that was just a game in any conversation when two or more person spoke the same word at the same time. it was just a superstitious game though. but it seem fun. the actual (unwritten) rule was that person who doesn't made it till 10 will not be allowed to speak (or any penalty) until the "Jinxer" said so. hehehe..

example: if I won the game I would ask that person to have sex with me then the game is off. naughty... naughty thoughts..

[ About Love ]

Love is like a disease. It infects you when u least expected it. it grows on you like cancer. its virus evolved and shows symptoms; jealousy, hatred, joy, and others. We let Love flow in our veins. a dangerous but a noble choice. we get hurt at an utmost situation. then love kills you even if you're glad it's there. There's no cure for love. No matter how you try to find a closure, it'll still leave its scar. you still had the pain in you and remembered the process of it's infection.

Love has an impetus effect on you. It made you do the damness things. Something you wouldn't know you were able to do. there's no definite term to elucidate Love. it's cruel. It's a force. It's somehow sweet.

When we said we don't want to fall in love again.... don't let your guards down. Love is stronger than it seems to be. It'll find its way. want to fall in love? then take care of yourself.

And today i had a qucikie inside a fitting room with "Z" while trying a pants. Guess where? nope you're wrong! It's at Pacific Ngiukee. ahahahaha.. a quick blow with no shots. just the head. naughty... naughty... (british accent)

[ Sabahan Bloggers Gathering (the review) ]

2nd August Saturday, SBG was held at The Imperial Hotel, Warisan Square. I went there with Riqi (Hushmonkey.blogspot) and was one of the early 100 to get the gift bags. I was a bit disappointed when there ain’t any Starbucks served as said for the early birds. But that was 20 minutes later. yey coffee!!!

Black Coffee (Americano)

The 10th floor event hall is started to fill in with guests. Saw a few note-able faces over the other side. It's suppose to start around 7 but someone’s late and we (especially me) have to starve while waiting. They were still setting up some equiptment then it started of with speeches and performances… Thank god it wasn't one of those loooong talks. Though Louis Pang was making a joke about it.

Our Host for the night.. DJ SELINA AND DJ FARA

Dinner!!! Foooooooood… yum yum… what’s on the menu? Malas mau ckp. Semua sadap-sadap bah.

Hungry people. me and riqi apa lagi serbu tuh buffet awal2.

lucky draws in between the performances. I was lucky that night (alhamdulillah). But wasn’t sure if I’m using it. I walk most of the time but it would be a fancy wrist watch. Hey… hey… I used to work at a Nike Shop. So it kinda complement my hard work back then(kunun).

Nike Sports-Band and Numbur cantik (as the lady said)

Event ended at 10.30 (so early… start late, finish early. Mcm masuk kerja lambat tp balik awal) with a group photo. Yeehaaaaa!!!

Here’s the juice of my own view. The event was average to me (I'm hearing voices already... and they don’t like me). It's like a plain (but delicious) carrot juice without milk. It wasn’t that boring or great. Though there’s a few suck-ish karaoke-like singing but I liked most of the singing. It was GRAND but just a run of the mill. I know I’m expecting too much but that’s how I rate SBG. It’s just that, this gathering wasn’t something I could remember much.

Attendance should be given to those who really can make it early (or along the event) and not at the end of the event (unlike someone). It wouldn’t be fair for those who paid and worked their ass off into getting there.

The performance was ok lah. I enjoyed it. I love the singing part of the attending guests from SIA (you look wonderful tonight.. at the background). Artist? Richado was ok lah. He’s cute though.

Venue: 9/10
Food: 9/10 (I love the chicken)
Performance:6/10
Activity: 4/10

I personally believe installing an award ceremony would be fun. Not that I disagree with this gathering but if there’s an award ceremony for Bloggers (any title) included would be fun to watch. As a result we will eager to read that person’s blog and bitch about it (evil laugh).

Alas, congrats to the ORGANIZING committee. They manage to pull off a good event. Thanx to the sponsors (whom I lazyly not to mention). I was having fun but WE still need to figure out what would make an event for bloggers much more memorable.

I said WE because I think we're in this together

[ KEEP SMIRKING AND SAVE THE WORLD ]

[ Happy Birthday ]

Happy birthday to my mum!!

My mum's a bit shy on camera... hahahahah.

(kidding..I'm a bad son. got no digital pics of her)

This Afternoon I wished my mum while she was playing with my cat, jobie. Then she said:

"Baru sekarang ko mau wish?"

A sarcastic remark from a 47 year old woman (she was kidding but I know she meant it). It was my fault juga that I remembered her birthday after turning the dial on my (techy .... as if la kunun) calendar to August 1st. I didn't bought her anything so I kept the house spotless as in return. ngehehehhe... saja mengampu bah.