[ Moved On ]

My previous entry was so sad... people tend to suffocate in it. well.. now I'm happy. bedazzling myself with smiles. hehe..

any ways... this time around I won't be crafting mellow stanzas. just to write blah blahs about what's happening soon.

I'm stepping back from my job at The Body Shop... not because I have problems with the company, just that I need time with my life... and with my partner.

and yes I'm moving in. a month to go

[ I'm The Lucky One ]

This person knows how my coffee is done... when I want it just nice
knows when I'm hungry... even when I said I'm not
knows that I'm upset... when he hears my voice
knows why I'm sweating... even when I said I'm okay
knows how to make me happy.... and what pleasures me

But little does this person know
That I'm lucky to have him.
I Love You

[ Changes ]

I did not changed my mind,
my mind said yes
but my heart did not.

But we connected as time goes by
You made me feel important
You made me feel good about myself
You made me want it, not just to try it
and I meant the relationship, not the fun.

You're sweet
You're incredible
You're smart
You're mature
You're funny

Sayang,
you've mended my heart
I never changed my mind when u popped the question
And that day.. When I come,
my heart said YES to you.

[ If I Say Yes ]

I've dreamt of being with someone

three "pla-infull" years

I've waited

I've met shadows

I can't see them in the dark

They come and go when-ever they want

When there is a time they'll show

When there's perfect timing, They walk-away

When I grasp them in my hands, they don't feel a thing

.. And when they grasp me by surprise

I got scared.

I don't mean to choose

I just want it to be meant

I want it so bad, but I can't be the only one who's hooked

or the other line.

I don't want shadows

I want that person who's standing in front of me

waving, smiling, talking, doing stuff together

one who comes and goes, but did not hurt you

When there's perfect timing, that person would show up and cheer you

When I grasp him in my hands, that person felt my love

And when he grasp me patiently.... passionately... sincerely

I'll say yes...

.....Finally

[ I'm In Love? ]

It has been a while since my last posting. I was planning to start my Vlog soon. But can't seem to start on the right day.. or probably I kept on postponing it.

I'm shy on camera.. especially with capturing videos (not porn) of myself. So imagine how hard it is for me to be talking to myself and act as if someone's watching me.

Anyways, meeting people as dates has been fun. I've fallen for so many guys. But only a few still plays in my mind. I don't want to brag, but some tried really hard to make a connection, but only one tamed my heart.

We've known so long ago. But kinda on and off cause he got a hectic social life..... he's kinda a family guy. Though I knew he was screaming for freedom.

Since our first *magical* date, we like each other.

I knew that for me having a long distance is ridiculous. Because I've made comments on it. I guess I'll give it a try. No.. we haven't declared anything yet. we decided to take things slow and see how it goes.

He's nice... attractive... adorable... romantic.... matured.... well although I have issues for him being straight-forward but I've found it amusing. I might got a bit jealous sometimes, but hey, we've only just begun.

Or I might be a bit worried when he gets high or going to clubs, but ya know.... I'm cool.

He travels a lot. Enjoying life. Fun. Big family. he's kinda in a high-level community. So I'm really not in the same level as his. But he accept me for who I am.

Hopefully this works. I'm just gonna wait. I'll be meeting him soon. If it blooms then I would end my single years... if he backed out, then there goes another year of me being alone.

Wish Me Luck

[ I Always Remember ]

"I'd rather loose both of you, rather than hurting you if we are still together"

I remembered those line. well.. couldn't remember the exact word but that's how it goes. Then eventually you went to the other party.

Being lucky in relations is quite hard. Probably it was my own fault. But the things that I remembered always kept me smiling (or teary-eyed) although it hurts and sometimes I just want to smash my collections of coloured bottles on the wall.

Littlest things could trigger the whole memory. So I am actually moving on with those. I couldn't explain it. I could lie about me getting over them.

BUT I CAN'T.

Everywhere I go reminded me of them. Even just a glimpse. Flashbacks.

The grafitti that I paint on the wall of my bedroom is a prescription I created to just keep me occupied from the break-up.

TV Shows.... the frequent laughs that I had with them every time I watched the tely.

Clothes... gifts... significant dialogues .. Pictures... bla bla bla

I can't run from it. I just need to set things right... It's like a guitar.. I need to set it in tune so that I could get the perfect music of every notes that I am about to make.

when the next time I say;

"will you be my partner"..

I'll make sure my guitar is new and in tune..

[ I like you ]

.. I really like you. but I'm not in love with you. well.. Not yet. I'm saving up my feelings and those 3 words till the right time and the right person.

I would be bluffing if i said I don't feel alone. On the other hand, I do. I had few dates.. But ya know, I'm comfortable with them.. and that's about it. I would love to be in a relationship as soon because I began to miss the feeling.

Sex? It has been a while. So.. I could be loosing my touch. *chuckle*. I had my hand as practices. But.. that is not really important

So if ever I met nice looking person.. I say "I like you".. And see how it goes from there. *SIGH*